My New Year's Resolution- No More Bitter Ranting About LA Housing

A dear, sweet friend of mine stopped by a few days before Christmas to deliver a lovely little present. We sat down for a chat, and unfortunately she brought up a subject I have found myself trying to avoid lately: the housing options in Los Angeles. Before I knew what had happened I was atop my soapbox, lamenting about how much it costs to be here, how long of a commute Ian would have if we moved somewhere affordable, how terrible the high schools are in the whole Los Angeles area, which is just a bit pitiful to bring up because it has zero impact on me until like fourteen years, anyways, I went on and on.

After she left I felt pretty ashamed of myself. I let my bitter ranting get the better of what could have been a sweet Christmas moment. I realized that after Ian and I found out we couldn't afford a home basically anywhere in LA, I got really angry about it. I felt we had done everything we were supposed to- we got great educations, well-paying jobs, frugal lifestyles- Didn't we have a right to the American Dream which, by definition, includes a little home that you own in an unfancy neighborhood that's not 10hours away from where dad works, that has comes with nice kids for my kids to go to Scout Camp and church with and decent schools that turn out well-educated, community-minded, if not a bit immature, graduates?

Well, it turns out that if we're looking at living anywhere in the Westside of Los Angeles in super pricey southern California, the answer is no. End of discussion. I can't have all of those things here. I can have one, or two of them if I really try, but I can't have all three, or four, or however many it is. And getting mad at the Los Angeles tax codes and grandfather clauses and urban sprawl is not going to make me feel one bit better. I realized that what I can do to OWN the fact that we are choosing to live here, we are choosing this- LA living and all its warts. I've looked at the other options- moving out of the area, hiring a nanny and going back to work, etc. etc. and honestly, none of them is a better fit. Maybe someday, but not now. So my only option is embracing what we've got. So yeah, anyways, I'm going to head over for a beautiful bike ride along the beach on a perfect balmy Saturday at the end of December with my husband who has a super short drive to work- oh yeah, and I'll schedule one in for July too ;)

'24' and Jack Bauer have nothing on me

I love taking the boys to the park mostly because they seem to love it, they shout and laugh as they climb and play, and they come home with big appetites and solid naps. But it is definitely not a casual, relaxing sort of event. I must have my mommy senses on high alert, my reflexes nimble as a kitty's. About half the time I'm there I feel like I'm training for some kind of combat mission, carefully positioning myself halfway between my active little dudes until my mommy-radar whirs into action- OH NO, JULIAN'S CHANCES OF TAKING A NOSEDIVE OFF THAT STEP STOOL PLAY THING ARE REGISTERING AT 75%, BUT CALEB'S PROBABILITY OF TUMBLING DOWN THE SLIDE ONTO ASPHALT IS AT 65% AND RISING- in an instant I calculate the angles, the content of materials they're about to come into contact with, the potential damage: SLIDE IS ONLY A FEW FEET LONG, POSSIBLY HEADED NOGGIN FIRST vs. STEPY STOOL PLAY THING'S ANGLE IS WILL POSITION JULIAN FOR A BACKWARD SOMMERSAULT ROLL INTO NASTY CORNER OF STRUCTURE. I like to think that I've somehow received superpowers for my mommy mission- in a flash I dive towards Julian and break his fall with my outstretched hand, then, heart pounding, adrenaline flushing, I use my leg to whir myself around and catch Caleb with my foot. Phewsh, saved the day again.

While at times I miss and one of the kids biffs it and smacks their head, so far no one has had to call 911 for me, like we did for another parent the other day when their kid fell onto the sidewalk and got a blood gush they'll never forget (we hung around for awhile, luckily the kid seemed to be OK). Who needs '24' and Jack Bauer, just hang out with me at the playground, you'll get your fill of action. Except maybe you wouldn't mind giving me a hand, things are far less eventful when I've got a 1:1 ratio. Then again, I need to get my workout in somehow ;)

a considerably different Christmas card list each and every year

So, I'm putting together all of our Christmas cards to mail out this year. While I'm thinking I may switch over to e-mail cards sometime in the future, I do love the feel of sending out something tangible that my friend is going to also hold in their hand. It feels real, even though we are all so far away from each other.
As I was going over all my old addresses and sending out the cards I was reminded of the fact that we have gone through another transition- friends we hung out with a ton about 18 months ago are now relegated to our occasional email category. People I didn't even know existed 6 months ago are now buddies we see multiple times a week. I'm realizing with increased awareness that doing the central urban thing means, sadly, that it seems like we are caught in a current of people that we meet, get to know, and then KIT a year or two later. We went to a white elephant party tonight and had a total blast with our current buddies. But I'm looking at them from a new perspective- how many of them are going to be here next year to do the same thing before the current pulls them, or us, away? I've learned from enough cycles through New York and 2 moves in LA that most of us won't be here next year- we will have moved to Vegas or Arizona or Utah or maybe even the Valley where we don't have to deal with schools and tight living quarters for big rent. Doing the central urban thing means that we don't set up traditions, we just live it up the best that we can, which is really fun. It also means I get to introduce friends that I meet and will be moving to the same city, which is a great connection to build for all of us, and it means I get to meet so many wonderful, amazing people with a variety of gifts and experiences to strengthen and support one another, but I do feel a bit sad. I felt a bit sad as I had to cross some names off my address list- people I've lost touched with so much I know they've moved, and I know they have a new address, but I can't easily get in contact with them to find out what it is. I wonder if it will always be this way, and if I might be a little sad at the revolving door nature of our experience, or if I can just embrace this time in our lives and the good things it offers- like a considerably different Christmas card list each and every year. ;)
ps. Is it like this for people that live in non-urban center places too?

christmas fun!

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this. Sister Lindsay is also featured. You may have to refresh it for the family faces to appear. Enjoy!

Non-Crappy Starring You! eCards on JibJab

oh christmas tree

So, my 'letting it go' abilities were once again called into action when, upon decorating our tree, we discovered that our box of ornaments mysteriously disappeared. I try to be organized, I really do, (I found half my decorations) but my acknowledged lack of skills is not helped out any by the fact that our apartment offers only 'creative' storage options and I don't know if the decorations box got stashed somewhere weird when I was trying to cram everything in here (behind my sewing machine in the top shelf of our bedroom cupboard with the chess set Ian's grandpa gave him and he refuses to chuck although he hasn't touched it in 10 YEARS, or behind the piano with our IKEA table legs maybe, or in the ice cooler shoved into the linen closet??) I"m going to cross my fingers and hope we sent it to Ian's mom's house and not (gasp) mistaken for the busted bread mixer and abandoned by the dumpster.. So until I get really organized, I've decided that I just have to go with the flow and find positive, happy things to say about the wide ribbon we used to decorate our tree. It really did turn out lovely. I'm finding that looking at the positive is making my life a lot easier. Now, if only I can get it together enough to make sure I get all of our Christmas cards sent out ;)
We received a lovely sign that our friend Alissa gave us that fit well over our nativity. Our portrait of Christ will be placed on top. It's my favorite reminder of the reason for the season.

learning to let loose

So we got our tree yesterday, and since the boys offer more participation in our excursions now we decided that picking up a half dead fivefooter from Target wasn't our first choice. Ian and I both wanted to cut a tre and relive some childhood memories in the process. We had in mind a lovely woody area, with the scent of pine so thick and rich you could almost taste it. Ah yes, the perfect way to start the season. Unfortunately we didn't do our research very thoroughly, because we drove about 45minutes to land ourselves at a lot on a strip of land underneath some heavy duty power lines and a Jack in the Box across the street. I guess that wouldn't have been such a deal-breaker if there wasn't a single pine on the lot, just crazy looking spruces and cedar trees. The only smell was suburb. The kid showing us around while wielding a saw was trying hard to make a sale and kept steering us to the cedars- 'they do have a light scent' he said. I sniffed and sniffed and did not catch a whiff of anything. The kid looked at Ian, and Ian looked at me and said something about how I was the decision maker. Just as I was about to insist that we drive somewhere else to get the experience that I had in mind with the woods and the pine (even if it meant a superlong drive!) I decided to stop and take a breath. I reminded myself that the important thing was not what we did so much as how we did it, and if we came home witht he most beautiful tree it wouldn't matter if we were not having a good time together as a family. I realized we could come home with a cactus it didn't matter as long as we had a good time. What mattered was the good memories, and going with the flow was going to make everybody a whole lot happier. So we found a nice full cedar and felled it, netted it, and attached it to our car. The price was a bargain and we even got a handful of mistletoe to boot. We didn't overextend ourselves by trying to do too much, the mood was that of victory, and that evening when we set up the tree, lo and behold, the kid was right. A lovely piney-cedary smell filled the room. I decided I am going to have to learn to go with the flow wwwaaay more often ;) But next year, we'll do a bit more research. I'm realizing that it's a process to create family experiences, and we're not going to have everything all ironed out right now when we've got a brand new family. It doesn't matter though as long as we have fun.