1-2-3 Magic: I Hate to be Pushy, but Read This Book

"We know you love your kids, but for many reasons it is critically important that you also like and enjoy your kids-every day" 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

I don't want to give plugs for any books, but this one has sold 1.25 million copies, been translated into 20 languages over the last several years has been the #1 child discipline book on amazon. I wish I had read it a year or two ago, it's got all the best points of so many books I've read put succinctly. Dr. Phelan gives advice on what he believes are the 3 jobs of any parent 1.Control obnoxious behavior, 2. Encourage good behavior and 3.Strengthen the Relationship with your Kids.

One of the things that I've been wondering about, and really the question that started my parenting "question-journey" is how do I control my frustration? Should I be trying to parent without ever yelling? Is it possible? Can I be effective? Dr. Phelan's answer is an emphatic, no-holds-barred yes. In fact, he says the two biggest parenting mistakes are too much talk and too much emotion (like the Neutral Face advice, but simpler). His technique of counting slowly to 3 and then sending kids to timeout if they don't stop the obnoxious behavior is genius. If done right, it can't not work. I've put it at the top of my tool belt. So has Ian.

I love that he covers a whole bunch of scenarios- what if your kid pees on the floor in timeout or trashes the room? What if you're in the car or at a restaurant? What if a crowd's watching? What if your kid mocks as you count? He's got a solution for everything. It's great.

Another thing that I really appreciated was that this book isn't wordy, preachy, meandery, redundant and anecdotal like almost every other parenting book on the market. It's clear, simple and impactful (more here). I actually speed read it during naptime and started applying it that night. I have never intentionally recommended a book before, but I have to break my rule on this one: Every parent needs to read this. (I do have to say the age range of 2-12 is a bit dicey. It only half-works on my little guys. I'm sure in a few more months we'll be good.)

I believe the most important job, the one that makes the others much easier is the third one- strengthening relationships with my kids. With our preschool days open for me to shape, what's the best way to choose how to spend our time that keeps them happy, me sane, my kids learning and growing, and all of us connected?