Steady Days

"Every mother functions best when she's being intentional with her time and energy" Jamie C. Martin, Steady Days
Jamie C. Martin immersed herself in motherhood by having three kids all the same age: one biological and two adopted from India and Africa. The basic premise behind her short and lovely book Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood is that moms should approach their job with as much professionalism and purpose as any important CEO, because that job is one of the most important ever.

She has a couple really simple principles that I love: plan the day. I love her choice of the word "steady" because I think it's an encouragement to provide that stability that everybody works best under. Create a 'Steady Routine' that might be the same every day, or different each day of the week. Plug in the blocks of time with all the things that mom and kids need and want to do. Her ideas include: Structured Play (kids and mom play with a toy that mom chooses, maybe something kind of involved) Free Play (letting kids play unconstrained and often outside, although usually needs to be supervised), Room Time (teaching kids how to play on their own and mom doesn't always need to entertain them, best if confined to a room and special toys get taken out at this time), Quiet Time (either napping or, if an older kid it's different from Room Time: kids lie quietly and look at books and kind of rest) Storytime, VideoTime, Arttime, Baking, Crafttime, Individual Time, Scrapbooks (recording with kids what happened that day). Of course errands, playdates and outings get built into the day also. She has suggests making a column for you and your husband and/or nanny so that mom can do things she needs to get done during Quiet Time or Room Time.

I've been reading lots of books about the best ways to use my time with my kids, but this one helps me fit all the pieces fit together and not get overwhelmed, embracing and enjoying the moments like I want to without worrying about getting this or that done. I've always heard that kids thrive on routine, planning and order to the day. My sister in law told me that she once taught two separate kindergartens: one that had a lot of rules and structure and one that had none. Surprisingly, the kids did much better in the one with the structure. I know that this will be good, but sometimes it's hard not to get on a phone call that goes for a long time. If I was at work though I know I'd keep it short- and I am, after all, working!

Jamie herself admits that sometimes you can get into a bit of a rut if you don't plan some spontaneity in there too. It's an odd thought that having fun with my kids is kind of hard work at times, and spontaneity takes a bit of planning to set the stage, but it's my experience! One of my own favorite discoveries- Creative Play (playing together with my kids but letting them lead them activity and see where they take us), helps us have fun and connect with each other.

Anyways, here's my planner. I found that I need to print these out and write in them every day. I can't always stick to things perfectly, but found that the days definitely goes more smoothly when it's there. How to stay motivated and disciplined? Martin urges moms to remember our motivation- to give our kids our best. "What keeps me going in the midst of unpleasant difficulties is a Steady Heart. This is even more important that a Steady Day, because if you have a Steady Heart, the Steady Days will soon follow. A Steady Heart contains a sense of purpose, the idea that you know why you are doing what you're doing, even down to the most mundane of tasks. Everything is involved in the big picture, so everything is important." Jamie C. Martin