How do you know if you're Crazy?

Isabel makes my life easy in so many ways- I can go to Costco and Target by myself and doctor and dentist appointments are no problem. In some ways my life is easier than people who have less kids but no child care because I don't have to worry about bringing my kids along or dropping them with a friend. But recently Ian and I decided we needed to cut back Isabel's days. His company has told everyone not to expect raises or bonuses next year, and sometimes I've caught myself feeling like Isabel is a bit of a luxury and maybe not quite as much of a necessity as she was a year ago. A lot of people are cutting back on their child care, so I've (hopefully) found someone to do a nanny share and pick up two of her four days that we have her. But I was worried about one of my favorite things about having Isabel- I can take my kids to Disneyland.
Since we live in Southern California we can get the Disneyland annual passes and I've taken Caleb and Julian about once a month or once every couple of weeks for half a day at a time while Isabel watches Jack and Christian at home. Caleb and Julian have hit a stage of life where if they get out of supervised eyeline for even a minute, you can be sure they're doing something destructive. Like squirting liquid dish detergent all over the Christmas tree, or putting on an apron, pretending to be a chef, and dumping an entire Costco size bottle of olive oil into the waffle batter, or hiding in the closet, pushing against the sliding door, and breaking the $500 door size mirror that covered the door. And don't get me started on the carpet and walls. They don't really mean to be naughty, they're always very sorry and really they're just trying to play and satisfy their curiosity about the world but in the process they are completely trashing our home. Disneyland is wonderful because it's about a 45 minute drive out there, and they always travel well because they're so excited to be going, and once they're there they can run around and ride on rides and there's always something to see that we haven't yet and basically they're in heaven. Just looking around tires them out. It activates their imagination and gets them telling me stories about the different characters, yes, it's one of the wonderful things about living here.

So since we have less Isabel and I want her focusing on more of the housekeeping tasks, I decided that it's just time for me to be brave and try going to Disneyland on my own with my four kids. I've watched one of my friends in particular bring her three kids places that I think would be impossible and it's gotten me thinking about where my limits really are. So many people think I'm crazy even to just take my four out for a walk, and have told me so to my face. But it's really not that bad. There's such a trend to encourage us not to exhaust ourselves, an emphasis on the importance of finding 'me time' and how things should be easier than they are in reality. I think about everything our pioneer ancestors did- their limitations were definitely in a different place then mine. And for some reason I think it often makes me feel more stressed out than relaxed when I hear people telling me to take it easy all the time. I decided to put my crazy plan into practice and give Disneyland a try, enlisting the help of two of my friends who also have a stomach for adventure a la mommy variety. So we found ourselves as 3 adults with nine children- a 4 year old, three 3year olds, a 2 1/2er, and four babies all going to Disneyland one Wednesday afternoon.
The night before I was so nervous I couldn't sleep. What if all my kids melted down at once? What if someone fell out of the stroller and we had to call an ambulance? What if I collapsed while carrying Jack and Christian at the same time? Would my children be scarred for life? But the alternative also scared me- not only do my kids need something to do for part of the day, but it's also kind of sad and lonely to be at home by myself day after day while the rest of the world is out there... living. And I knew I had nothing to lose, if we couldn't make it out of the parking lot, we'd just pack up and drive home. Even the ride would be getting the kids out of the house for awhile.
So the next day I packed a ton of snacks, changed Jack and Christian's diapers while praying they didn't poo before we got home, loaded the quad stroller, secured all four car seats, took a deep breath, and got on the freeway.

Well, all I can say is that we had a total blast. It exceeded my best expectations. It helped that our kids know each other well and loved playing together while we waited in line. It also helped that there were three moms to shepherd the children, doing it alone would have been very difficult. It also helped that because Caleb has a cast right now we got a Handicap pass, and even though sometimes it didn't save a lot of time, it was really nice to just stand in one place, keeping babies in a stroller, instead of herding our kids through a line. The whole park was dolled up for Christmas, the Small World ride was amazing and overall it was just really, really fun. We got a lot of stares and 'wow, you're crazy' from the staff, but really, I didn't mind. I'm glad that I didn't let that crazy line make me stay home and miss one of the best days of our month so far.
I think that motherhood is a lot about finding where the limits are- in patience, kindness, physical energy, they're constantly being tested and expanded on a daily basis. Who knows where the boundaries really are? On the other hand, I don't want to push my luck. Let's just say that DisneyWorld on my own... now that's definitely not happening. ;)