the Best (and Completely Craziest) Years of our Lives (How is that Possible?)

I can't really explain how crazy the past few weeks have been. How do I convey the frustration of having my kids break a glass picture frame, and the panicy need to clean it as fast as physically possible before my kids step in it but only while using one arm because I'm holding my 18monther on my hip and I can't put him down or he'll sever a limb, while one of my kids dumps powdered sugar into the dinner sauteeing on the stove, and someone else knocks off our throw rug onto the neighbors' balcony below us just beyond reach of my broom (I almost fell off my 3 story balcony trying to retrieve this rug, by the way), then having my other 18monther dump sweet potatoes onto the carpet that would have been protected by the throw rug I failed to retrieve despite almost losing my life for it, and forget I had ripped off one of the diaper tabs while putting on my wriggly baby's diaper until I see the pile of poo he left because his diaper came off, have my cell phone dumped in the toilet, my home phone dumped in the toilet so I'm totally phoneless, a weird mixture of oil and paprika dumped on the couch that will never come out, an entire bottle of red paint dumped on the carpet... and all of this happened within a 3 day period and many of it simultaneously (there's no way we're getting our deposit back). How do I explain all this... what's the word? Sheer and utter chaos doesn't even do it justice. No wonder I've been sick for an entire month!

Anyways, despite the insanity brought on mainly by a new phase that we are trying to get a handle on, I can't help but feel that these are the best years of my life. I love singing with my kids in the morning, dancing while we get dressed and make beds, seeing how excited they get over dandelions, seeing how crazy giggly they are when I play peekaboo with them or Ian chases them with the Gymbo clown doll, how much they love to be with me and how much they enjoy reading stories or getting excited about the holidays. I've never laughed so much or noticed how amazing everything is. We took them to the Santa Monica airport recently. It's a small municipal airport with a viewing platform set against the backdrop of the Century City highrises for people to watch the small planes landing and lifting off. The action was nonstop the Saturday we were there and all of them were totally enthralled- I love the absorbing look of wonder and fascination on their faces, you just don't see that as often with adults.


It's pure, uninhibited fascination. I love being reminded of feeling that way, and enjoying it with my kids, I've never felt so happy so I'll take powdered sugar pasta and paprika soaked couches any day because I wouldn't miss this for anything (although we recently installed a gate to our kitchen and the situation is much improved, and after my mom's visit and help from my friend Natalie I finally got over my virus. Hurray!).

St Patrick's Day Grillfest

We had our last day of soccer yesterday and a BBQ afterwards. Unfortunately none of the pictures I took of the kids kicking balls turned out because it was so bright. Daylight savings meant it was sunnier longer and the weather was really hot yesterday (80/27!) so it was perfect grill weather. We are so spoiled rotten that all of us live close to the church with its huge ballfield, BBQ pit, tables and playground. It was so cute to see all the kids running around in green. Everyone chipped in and got Ian a really sweet present to thank him for coaching the class. He felt so loved.




My mom friends are all so cute- I actually got the chance to take a few photos of them for about 2 minutes because my mom is here and she took Jack and Christian home with her! I felt bad that they couldn't be there for the BBQ, but it was so, so nice to not constantly be chasing after them and get to finish my sentences a little more than usual. I think we are a pretty happy bunch- not necessarily glamorous or flashy, but we know how to enjoy a nice Wednesday evening with our kids and husbands, which is no small feat. Three cheers for St Patrick's Day BBQs!

What's so Great about Orange County?

We went to check out one of the new housing developments in Irvine the other day. I had heard a lot of good things about it, and Irvine is consistently ranked among the top 5 places in the US to live.
Let me just say the hype lived up to itself and then some.
We spent most of our time there trying to pick our jaws up from off the gorgeous ground we were walking on.
This. Place. Is. Amazing.
I guess I can't speak for all of Irvine, we spent most of our time in Woodbury. One of our friends who works in realty development has looked at all the new housing developments in the country. He said that this is the best one he's seen in the US.
And quite possibly the world.

First of all, 30-40% of the community is park space. And not just brandnew, undergrown parks, they've got mature trees and grapevines climbing the pillars and shade canopies, playgrounds, picnic benches, BBQ pits, doggie bags, water fountains... I don't know how they did it.



And then there's a 40 acre recreation center right in the middle with a waterpark filled with all kinds of water features for the kids, several pools including an Olympic size pool for their swim team (what community has a swim team?),
tennis courts, basketball courts, volleyball courts (all of which you can reserve online), a baseball field and soccer field, which was packed the day we were there. I saw people running home during play to grab drinks and head back to the field. Oh yeah, did I mention a 10-star elementary school was right next to the recreation center in the middle of all this? Down the street. Walking distance.

As if that wasn't enough, as we were driving along we hit the Town Center.

Okay, they had a Trader Joe's, a Ralph's, Staples, restaurants, a gym, dry cleaners... EVERYTHING! PEOPLE WERE WALKING HOME WITH THEIR SHOPPING CARTS!! Obviously, not everyone lives close enough to the Town Center do this, BUT STILL!!!
At the model home info center we found out about the gorgeous hiking 15 minutes away at Limestone Canyon, and the Jeffrey Open Space Trail actually RUNS THROUGH THE HOUSING DEVELOPMENT!
I almost passed out as I realized you could literally go for a swim or take a hike, swing by Trader Joes' and grab dinner, pick up your kids at school, let them play in the park as you're walking home, eat dinner at the picnic tables, walk to church for Mutual, and then all be back in your house together before the sun set. Oh, because did I mention, a brand new LDS Church is RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM EVERYTHING
O.M.G. (Gracious) And, it's 20 minutes from Disneyland, 10 minutes from the Ocean... We had to flee before we bought something right on the spot.



Over the next couple days, Ian and I, infatuated with Woodbury, looked hard at the 50 mile commute options. He would have to travel a lot of off hours and work a day or two from home, which is an option for him, but would be punitive in some respects for all of us. I rely on Ian's help at the beginning and ends of the day a lot right now, and losing him to a commute would be painful. And while the whole place reminds me a lot of Italy- the home design, lots of green common space- there's not much private yard space. The backyards barely warranted the name. There was room for a BBQ, outdoor furniture, and that was seriously it before you hit the shared fence. Many didn't even have grass. Ian and I love gardening and having the kids play in the yard while I watch them through the kitchen window as I'm chopping carrots is a must-have.
Another thing- it's pricey. Pricey areas usually draw 2-income families and not as many people to share the SAHM experience with. I was planning on seeing what the ward was like, but I didn't get around to it. Only one ward for quite a large area.
So... we decided this would be a great place to live when our kids are a little older, and they're not as interested in playing in the backyard and Ian's career is a little more settled. I think it would be amazing, but for now it's on the backburner.

Soccering

Last fall Ian started looking around for a soccer league/class to put the boys in. The leagues don't start yet for their age group and the 3 yr old workshops were pricey. Very pricey. And since I'm all about the DIY movement I asked Ian what he thought about doing a soccer class for the kids we know who are 3-4. Ian co-coached his younger sister's team and he's played a lot of soccer growing up (plus his stepdad played on the US Olympic team so EVERYONE plays soccer in his family) so it seemed like a good fit. I think it's a huge testament to what a great dad Ian is because he decided to go for it! I was surprised at how many other people wanted to do it too, almost everyone we asked signed up, so we wound up with 13 kids in the class. Everybody pitched in $40 for equipment and Ian got a bunch of soccer dvds, did some research online, and came up with some games.



I think the best thing about it is that we get the kids running around outside and having fun together. I think that Ian is amazing to leave work early every Wednesday afternoon and wear himself out running around good-heartedly with all those kids. A couple of the other dads lend a hand too so it's fun. I'm just amazed at what he's been able to do with this age group, and how well he's kept his patience with them. We're seven weeks into it and I've seen the kids really improving.



I just love the community that we have here! When I think about moving to a place that doesn't have a huge group of kids our kids' age I feel like it's going to be such a downgrade in lifestyle. We do so many things together- gymnastics on Mondays, bike riding at the church on Tuesdays, soccer on Wednesdays, Musicmakers on Fridays, Disneyland trips, Joy School, playdates, babysitting swaps... wow when I really think about it the list of fun, free activities that provide my kids some fun, low-opportunities to play with others and learn some things is HUGE! These things aren't going all year round, and I don't make it to all of them, but it's great to know that they're there and that I'm in this with a bunch of colleagues.
We really do have an amazing life here right now.

Exploring Westchester

I can't imagine that there's a tougher place to nail down an area to live than Los Angeles! If we wind up staying in LA proper we'll probably be moving here. This spot is not far from the airport and even though it's not bad noise-wise, the prices are quite a bit lower. For the price of our 1940s 1000 ft2 Midvale house we can get nearly twice as much house here in Westchester. The neighborhood is a bit on the old-side, but these 1950s houses have decent sized yards too, so it's a no-brainer. The neighborhoods are gorgeous and driving around we saw lots of young families and kids playing out on streets. There are parks and community centers and the school situation is actually very good- it's got to be the most family-friendly area in Los Angeles that isn't crazy-expensive.

There are couple exceptional charter schools in the area or close by, Open Charter, Magnolia Academy, Goethe International... and so even if the public schools may not be the best we have an excellent chance of getting our kids into a charter school through high school. One of the schools that just opened this year is a German immersion program with an IB curriculum. I went through 6 years of language immersion in elementary school and even though I don't use my French at all now, becoming fluent in a language at a young age really had an impact on me. I feel like it gave me a lot of confidence in my abilities and made me comfortable to try new things; when I think about how quickly I advanced in the workplace I think it ties back in large part to my foundation in language immersion. I'm really excited about the school possibilities here and even though Charter School spots aren't guaranteed, there are enough options that in all likelihood we would get in somewhere. I can't imagine there are going to be as many amazing exceptional experiences anywhere else in the country for the cost of a public education experience.

The ward actually had a number of young families in it, several of whom had purchased homes. The Primary was a good size, but I was a bit discouraged when I saw the Sunbeams. There were only three kids in there! Caleb and Julian have 15-20 kids in Sunbeams where we are now, enough for two classes. Having kids their age means not only Joy School cohorts, babysitting swaps, playdates and family friends, but my SAHM colleagues are MY best friends and my life support. I worry that even though the community here is great, there wouldn't be as many people as I have now, and that's something I have really come to rely on. Maybe these are silly fears, but it gives me pause.

Well, we may still wind up here. The house prices are much better, although not fantastic, the area is really close to Ian's work, the houses themselves are OK... but it's still LA. Next stop- Orange County.

Could this Be Our New Home?

On September 25, 2003 we closed on a townhouse in Mid-City area Los Angeles and moved in later that day. Our new place was 1300ft2, with three large bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths and a little patio in the back.




Although we loved it and made it nice with French doors, mouldings and jasmine bushes, (and Christmas decorations I was too lazy to take down) it never really felt like home. The price was good, the size was great, and it was close to Ian's work and my freelance jobs, but the community wasn't there. Our ward only had one other young couple (One!) and they had both grown up in the area and weren't looking for friends. Our neighbors were nice but despite our dinner invitations we never did get close. I organized a book club but for some reason it never came together. After having Caleb and Julian the lack of parks within a 15 minute drive radius, high curbs, steep hills, and three flights of stairs between the bedrooms and the car garage made it maddening. One day I almost tripped on the stairs and dropped my kids. We knew it was time to move.

In 2007 prices were threw the roof and all the way to the moon. So we sold our home and moved into an apartment to rent until we figured out what to do.
Three years later we're still here and confused as ever about where to move. We love the area that we live in now, and would love to stay, but we're still renting. The whole time we've been here we've thinking about what to do for a permanent solution. It's been on our minds more and more as our kids are approaching school age (we've only got 19 months before that happens!) Ian's got job options here and so we're committed to Los Angeles. While living here is amazing, it's not easy. To organize ourselves we've come up with a house hunting list, things that we are taking into account:

a. proximity to work. We'd love for Ian to have a short commute so he can be home with us a lot
b. a reasonable price, we're looking for something that's going to stretch us, not sink us. Having proceeds from our 2007 sale help us out, but not as much as we'd like.
c. a great community and ward with lots of young families; this usually comes with good school options
d. good lot size. It's been a dream of ours to have a big yard for playing, gardening, and cooking in a wood burning brick oven.
e. house quality- size, age, repair status, etc.

courtyard of our old place-didn't think we'd still be sharing walls with people!

Most people would take one look at that list and tell us the only way to find all that is out of LA. A few years ago when my cousin and her family, living in Canada, moved out of their townhouse they just drove around one night to look at houses and bought the first one they were interested in. It was less than a mile from her husband's work, an older house of modest but comfortable size spruced up from a recent flip with a great yard. The price was manageable. They got everything on my list in only a couple weeks! But... they're living in a less desirable climate than LA, so we all give up something. What's it going to be for us?
A friend of mine said that she's not going to buy a home until everything really lines up and it feels just exactly right. I couldn't help but think that she's NEVER going to get something in LA, but obviously squeezing into a less than perfect situation can have unhappy effects: see example above. Since no situation is ever going to be perfect; how do you know when it's good enough? We really thought that our years of searching were coming to a close when we put in an offer on this little gem a few weeks ago:

2540 Midvale Ave

This cutey is right in the area we live now. It has a huge yard but even with 3 bedrooms it's tiny- 1,000 ft2 (reminds me of a Manhattan apartment. In fact I've seen smaller families than ours living in bigger Manhattan apartments). After first seeing it we decided to pass, the size would be too much of a downgrade from our apartment now. But the day after the open house the realtor called me and he said the owners might be interested in a lowball offer. "The place has been on the market for four months and other prospective buyers are having financing issues. Not enough downpayment..." he said. And I started thinking. That kitchen window does look out the backyard, and there's a mature lemon tree and avocado tree back there, and the yard could easily handle a garden, a play area and brick oven ... the current owner had some preliminary plans drawn up for an addition and with the new price it all just might work out.
Could our years of patiently holding onto our downpayment actually be paying off? Is this the miracle we've been waiting for all this time? The prices were finally, barely, in our range and we could qualify for a loan where others with less savings couldn't. I went and knocked on the neighbors' doors, and the more we talked the more we liked what we heard. That little pocket was a good mix of young families and old timers who had raised their kids there. Just 10minutes from Ian's work, it was seriously right around the corner from a great mall with a movie theater and a Barnes and Noble and Starbucks- a walkable community which I like. The school was great, and it was just blocks from several families we are friends with. We looked into building additions and talked to contractors to make the house more livable. Ian got really excited about building a brick oven in the backyard.

Suddenly, just as we were getting ready to put in our offer, someone beat us to it. They saw the house, put in an offer and went into escrow all on the same day.
We were devastated, but the realtor told us there was hope. This offer came from folks who only had a 3.5% downpayment and were carrying a lot of debt so there was a high possibility they wouldn't get a loan- we'd know in 17 days. So we got pre-qualified on a loan and put in our offer. And we asked everybody to pray for us. And for two weeks we could think of nothing else, talk of nothing else, dream about nothing else.
After a week we got a counter offer from the owners. Their accepted offer was having a lot of trouble securing their loan- we could get this house!! But we were also a big disheartened. They wanted us to come up on our price, their current accepted offer was 50,000 over ours! And with all the additions we were looking to do on the house we were quickly falling out of the affordable zone. We also started thinking about the area- we love it, but how many of our friends will be here in a few years? It's a really expensive area. Many young families like ours on one income just couldn't afford to live here long term.
And the more we thought about having to do additions, the more we realized it could be a disaster. These additions would require a ton of research on flooring, windows, roofing, insulation, planning with contractors, applying for permits... we're already running at maximum capacity so where were we going to find the time to do all that? We knew our boys would absolutely love to have a yard, but what they really need is access to us. If we were haggling with sub-contractors and dealing with foundation problems... I saw myself becoming short tempered and moody, my kids feeling confused and unloved. Skipping the additions and living in it as is with all of us, well, that was going to be stressful too. Little closet space, one teeny bathroom, the dining area and living room practically the same...
Would we really be happier here?
We decided not, and never did get in our final counter. Later the realtor told us that the loan had come through at the very last minute, extending beyond the optional 48 hours after the 17 day loan contingency- and the house had sold. I could go on about banks giving people loans who have no business getting them, and how all this debt is making life hard for our entire society because it makes our house prices go up, our taxes go up, it makes more families with both parents have to work, and it prices out the responsible ones who have a real downpayment and don't want to overextend themselves... But that's a topic for another post.
So anyways, the house hunt is on, for real this time, and it's taking us into the belly of the beast.
To Be Continued...

Change is... Change

For the past year or so I feel like I've developed certain skills, such as nursing two babies simultaneously, cooking and shopping for baby purees, Spanglishing instructions to a nanny/housekeeper nearly every morning, and I built a complex set of routines around these skills and tasks: Costco Tuesday mornings during Joy School, physical therapy Friday afternoons, documenting my family's weekly activities Sunday afternoons...

I can't keep up with them anymore!

But something I've learned about mothering is that just when I get into a little bit of a comfortable routine, everything changes. Usually I don't quite even feel comfortable, it's just that all of a sudden everything gets really hard and I begin to scratch my head and then realize, oop... about twelve key things changed all at once: between all my kids' developmental stages and Ian's and my life there's a lot of change permutations in there.
Lately it feels like a lot has changed: nap schedules, nanny schedules, diet schedules, my schedule, and the skills I once had, like nursing and baby purees are obsolete and now I need to figure out how to get baby Christian to eat something besides cookies (he's got a hound nose for sweets), my kids to 12 o'clock church without an entire family meltdown, what to do with 3 year olds who are awake all day, how to channel Caleb's obsession with pouring water everywhere into something non-destructive, and how to find time to teach my kids how to hold pens and cut and do all the things they keep asking me about...
Obsolete are many of the skills I painstakingly perfected last year. My career field looks very different and I'm in need of some job retraining. Fast. Elizabeth Gilbert said "I grew up watching a mother who became with every new day whatever that day required of her. She produced gills when she needed gills, grew wings when the gills became obsoltee, manifested ferocious speed when speed was required..." I wish somebody could write a Dummy's Guide to growing gills and wings as a mom.
I've been taking a lot of deep breaths lately.


They're all over the place now.

I think that life is constantly changing, and no more so than life with little children. I'm finding myself in a real gap between trains right now, trying to get into a new rhythm with my new tasks. Perceptive as ever to my struggles Ian got me a very sweet Valentine's Book- "How to Organize Everything". I've decided to try to take the opportunity of job retraining to really look at the way that I do things around here- everything from how I organize my toys to exercising to working from home and see if I can't come up with a system that doesn't need a spatula to scrape me off the floor at the end of the day.
Otherwise, when people ask my how I do it, I want to tell them that I've figured out how to go to the bathroom only twice a day.
If only.

A Madera Christmas

Lately I've been working for the church, editing videos from home about their humanitarian work. It is astounding how far reaching it is and how much they rely on the development of a culture of caring to make it work. I personally think resources are used more effectively on both ends when the relationship between those who are giving and those who are receiving remains close. When government largely takes over the responsibility to care for the poor and needy I think we lose our culture of caring, take on debts to be paid off by future generations, and see feelings of entitlement develop. As a family we try to work with our communities and teach our kids to serve others. We serve because it's the right thing to do, and because any of us may need to be the recipient of these programs at some point in the future. Our ward is very active in serving as well, a few months ago we participated in our annual tradition of making 1,000 lunches and delivering them to homeless people downtown, our Relief Society is making blankets for an orphanage in Mexico on Friday, and we're organizing a blood drive with three other wards for the Los Angeles Children's Hospital in April, and in June will volunteer at the Los Angeles Food Bank.
Who is responsible to help the poor and needy? It's a complicated answer, and I believe the government may have a small role, but ultimately, we are the ones responsible. And while people are selfish and unreliable when it comes to such an important thing, there are those who, when given the opportunity, will rise to the challenge, such as in this video.
REMOVED