I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

I'm not on bedrest right now, but I am taking it easy. Very easy. A few contractions- very mild contractions- have shown up here and there. Not a big deal, but not something to trifle with. I'm lying down a lot, and just overall slowly becoming an invalid. I find that I do best when somebody else is around, at least for a few hours in the morning or afternoon, to help out with the boys.
I didn't try to get into this position, I did my very best to avoid it, and yet here I am. Dependent on others. It's been very humbling to be in a position of need. I haven't ever been in one for too long. It's been so difficult, but being the recipient of so much love and kind mercy has been amazing. The best thing about being in need is that I have learned what it feels like (terrible), and what it feels like to be helped, which is so nice. I used to be so self-sufficient, and that's good, but I think I may not have been really sensitive to other's needs before now, and I hope I become more so after this experience.
My mom has been really great, she came down to help for a week and then decided to stay for two. She's got a lot going on with everything back at home, but she has whipped my home into shape and just having her here has been really helpful.

My other amazing angel has been my friend Alissa's grandmother. She is absolutely incredible. She often calls to just ask 'what can I do for you?' I've sent her grocery shopping and she's helped me out many an afternoon or morning with the boys. I've never seen anybody so full of pure love. I continue to be amazed by her graciousness. She is so sweet and always lifts my spirits.

Surprisingly, the boys have pitched in as well. They have been trying to sweep up after themselves and even try their hand at the dishes. Well, I may be exaggerating, but they definitely can bring me their own diapers when asked to...


Last but not least Ian seriously deserves father of the year. He has delivered in ways that have surprised us both. I continue to be amazed by this man.
Well, just four more months to go! So many other dear friends have pitched in and made offers that will be made good I'm sure over the coming weeks. Just knowing I can call on them means the world to me. Gotta keep these kids in here until September at least! With the help of my friends I think it just may be possible...

Purple Path of Delight

When Anne Shirley first arrives on Prince Edward Island and is being carriage-driven to Green Gables by Matthew, she is enchanted by a pathway filled with white apple blossoms; a "canopy of snowy fragrant bloom." Matthew says that it's called 'the Avenue' and that it's pretty. Anne replies "Oh, pretty doesn't seem the right word to use. Nor beautiful, either. They don't go far enough. Oh, it was wonderful-wonderful.. It just made a queer funny ache and yet it was a pleasant ache... they shouldn't call that lovely place the Avenue. There is no meaning in a name like that.' Anne renames it the 'White Way of Delight.'

Well, I usually see that kind of loveliness on vacation- the Swiss Alps, the Rocky Mountains, Yellowstone... but during the month of May on my own front street- the one with the garbage trucks and street cleaning and parking enforcement people- I have to sort of echo Anne's exuberance at the springtime beauty. The huge trees are filled with Blue Jacaranada blossoms.

They're not a flower I knew in Canada growing up, but I'm glad to make their acquaintance. They hang down like grapes in huge clusters and it kind of does make your heart ache to see them all in bloom. It seems like we should rename Greenfield Avenue the Purple Path of Delight... or something like that. At least for a couple weeks each year ;)

Honoring Mother's Day

I have to say that being a mother is the best, most happiest thing that ever happened to me. I enjoyed a challenging and fulfilling career for seven years, got to do a decent amount of traveling and living in neat places, and have met some fun and wonderful people in my day. Still, my favorite thing of all has been being a mom. And being a mom to twins is extra delightful. When people find out we have twins (and are expecting twins) the usual comment is something along the lines of - 'You must have your hands full' or 'I don't know how you do it', which is all true. I get the occasional comment from someone who instantly understands what I can't express, that having twins is demanding, but it's also extremely enjoyable.

They know that we get to enjoy two wonderful little boys through an individual relationship with each of them, and also get to observe the sweet relationship that is developing between the two of them. Our boys want to be close to one another even as they get in each other's space, and are figuring out how to be together.



They often climb on the same stool or sit in the same chair and it's funny to see how they learn to accommodate each other and grow closer little by little day by day as they do so.


Just when I feel like my heart can't get big enough it seems to stretch just a little more. Recently they have learned how to take turns and pass favorite objects between each other with greater frequency, often without being asked. They have also discovered hugging. It's really a pretty amazing time.

No Pain, No Gain

I woke up this morning with a stabbing pain in my right side. I could barely move without doubling over. I always find it so hard to contact a doctor out of office hours, I feel like I'm interrupting something really important, and then I feel stupid when my 'concern' turns out to be something that anybody would know not to worry about. I made the call, and realized I had an awesome doctor when she called me back within 45 seconds. After a few questions she told me to lie down on the side that hurt and drink a bunch of water. After two hours if I was still in pain I needed to come into the office.
After two hours I still had stabby feelings. Oh no, I thought, this is it. My mind flashed back to my last pregnancy when came into the office to check on something. It seemed fairly harmless at first, except before I knew it I was admitted into the hospital and had a nighty shoved on me. I brushed my teeth slowly, and thought for a minute about grabbing some other toiletries to bring with me, just in case.
As I sat in the dr's waiting room I calmed down, breathed deeply, and just tried to think positive thoughts. "My body is capable of carrying these babies until September, my body is capable..." I suddenly realized I was talking out loud. The lady sitting next to me was staring at me, unblinking. I told her she didn't have to worry about calling the doctor, I already had. Luckily I got called in right then.
My doctor sat me down, checked everything out, and said I looked great. Then she told me that I had permission to call her 20 times a day, because we're all going to be a lot happier if I make a phone call rather than have my babies early again. Laughing shakily, I agreed. I felt kind of silly, but also relieved at the same time. She gave me a hug and I knew it was going to be OK. She's pretty sure it's ligament pain and said it would most likely be gone by the end of the day if I rested up. Good thing I didn't bring my travel bag.
Meanwhile Ian took a sick day and played with his boys while I rested. I've never seen them have so much fun together. They chased each other in the tunnels, read stories, took a bath, set up the baby picnic table that's been sitting around for weeks, and went to Jamba Juice. I am so grateful. Things could not have ended better for all of us!

Bye Bye Millers

On Saturday we said bye bye to the Millers. Actually, Caleb and Julian said 'bye bye'. (They've really gotten the whole bye bye thing down, they say it all the time even when someone has newly arrived.) The whole day was fantastic- the food was amazing, the company was killer, and we were at the beach with beautiful weather. Eight kids were running around and the ocean was just outside the front window. The saddest part was at the end when it hit me that Val was going away the very next day. Good luck in Tennessee! We will miss you guys!!!

Our Love Hate Relationship with IVF

We have some news. First of all, let me preface it with an interesting observation. For the most part, mine and Ian's lives were filled with fairly typical events up until a couple years ago. We got married in our early twenties, Ian went to graduate school, graduated with a good job and we bought a l'il townhouse, then we set about trying to fill it with the pitter patter of l'il feet. Yeah, you've met a lot of couples like us. Oh, oops, enter a little thing known as IVF, aka In Vitro Fertilization, in the fall of 2006.

Just so you know, IVF is a miracle procedure. It's the treatment of last resort for couples struggling to have biological children, and it has changed our lives dramatically when it got us pregnant with twins. However, like some kind of wacky sci-fi movie, this thing is not without some ugly downsides. Multiple pregnancies are one of IVF's popular and 'high risk' side effects. Our children were born waaay too early but are doing well now thankfully. We were extremely lucky. Another interesting side effect is that you become a lot more conscious of the mother's age at baby's delivery- doctors repeatedly pull out charts for you that show how increased age makes the success of IVF less likely (the closer to 18 the better, but what 18 year old needs IVF?) and the higher your age the greater the risk of birth defects. In most places 35 is the new 25, but 35 is like the new 45 in this place. So, as experienced IVFers we decided we better get on it so we could save time for one more try in a few years. But, since our last twin pregnancy was a nightmare we knew we had to get preggers with one baby. A singleton pregnancy, you know, the normal kind.

Now, a guaranteed singleton pregnancy is really tricky with IVF. Although it happens with most people it's sort of a fluke because just about everybody puts in more than one budding little embryo. Even still success rates are just under 50% at the best clinics. Most have lower than that. An IVF cycle is so emotionally, financially and physically taxing everybody will do just about anything to get it to work. I've never met anybody personally who only transferred one embryo- you just really need backup. But we did it, we transferred one embryo. It didn't work, so we tried again, and it didn't work. On our third try Dr. T told us... you know, it's only a 15% chance of having twins if we transfer two embryos. So we did it, we transferred two.

We're pregnant with twins.

I've had so many different emotions associated with this news, from sublime bliss to complete terror to major 'why me?' rage. Reactions we've gotten are along those same lines. My favorite one is my brother John who yelped for joy and told us it's the best news ever. My least favorite one was from a couple with one child who started hyperventilating.

I think the thing that's going to be hardest for us both is not going to be all the laundry and diapers from 4 non-potty trained children come fall, although that is going to be pretty horrifying. It's wondering if we're going to be able to have a healthy pregnancy after the heart wrenching experience of last time. Our kids were barely born within the realm of viability, they had surgeries and complications and lots of close calls after they came home. They continue to get some therapy and I still find it hard that they've got 'two ages.' We know what can happen with a multiples pregnancy gone wrong, and we know that we're lucky our boys are OK because we've seen much worse. On the other hand, many twin pregnancies turn out just fine.

So, after telling our doctor we weren't going to do selective reduction we're screwing up our courage from places we didn't know we had it. I have become a huge believer in the power of positive thinking, I believe focused positive narratives helped make our third cycle a success, I guess it just worked a little too well. So besides telling myself constantly that I can carry these babies to full term, every day I rest as much as I possibly can. I listen to my body and I don't try to be a hero when I feel something funny happening (this was a problem last pregnancy). Ian has been a stellar father as he's picked up the slack with the laundry, grocery shopping and cleaning. We've hired people to help us, we've gotten a much better doctor to guide us through the process, we're getting ready for strict bed rest at the beginning of June by lining up a bunch of volunteers to get us through the weeks, and we're upping our Netflix movie subscription.

Also, I've been watching a lot of 'John and Kate + 8'. It makes me feel better. They had two sets of multiples, and they got a TV show out of it.

Here's our sweet little babies. There was only room for one baby's ultrasound video here, but you can see his brother kicking him from the back. Oh yeah, did I mention we were having two boys? They're due beginning of October.

Coldwater Canyon

We go to two parks for the most part, Aidan's Place and Coldwater Canyon. When it's a bit chillier in the winter months we stick to Aidan's because the asphalt keeps everything warm, and that's the park that is walking distance. But that asphalt kicks out waaay too much heat come April so that's when we head to the summering grounds. Coldwater is driving distance, but it's a pretty drive along Sunset Blvd. and not too far. We were lucky enough to be joined by Auntie Rach, Auntie Linds and Nana this weekend for our inaugural visit. We also got to hang with Easton and Katie. Hurray for (manmade) creeks. The boys can't get enough...