on Spirituality & Mommyhood: not so easy right?

Since it's Christmastime I thought I'd share something that's been on my mind for awhile. A friend of mine who received a Master's in Divinity from University of Toronto in Canada sent me an article written by another mommy of twins. The lead line: When I entered motherhood my traditional spiritual life became impossible.

She talks about how spiritual discipline requires solitude & quiet time, and you just don't have that as a mom. Hello, but yes. Not that I was some spiritual guru before I became a mom, but it wasn't tough to find time here and there to read my scriptures, meditate, pray and reflect in my journal. Once I had Caleb and Julian it felt like that stuff was a luxury I could no longer afford. No matter how much I tried, there were 2 undeniable truths I couldn't seem to work around: 1) my time is totally interruptable so even if I don't get called upon I feel like I'm about to and 2) I am so pooped that I fall asleep after a short time, esp. first thing in the morning! Plus, there's not much I can do about those two things; they are the very definition of mother of young chitluns.



But I know it's too important to go for years and years without practicing 'spiritual discipline', and I know that other moms are certainly in the same boat so I asked my friends about it. The answers were very interesting. A couple friends were totally fine with putting that part of their lives on hold for awhile. In the article I mentioned earlier, Jennell Williams-Paris talks about how breastfeeding feels like holy work, and that it's not the season to worry too much about spiritual discipline. I agree. Opportunities for service, learning patience, feeling gratitude and joy are built into mommyhood.

And then there were a couple friends who really felt like it was important and put a lot of energy into making it work. It seems like these people set aside a specific time- nap schedule, 30min. when the husband gets home, 30min. while the kids watch TV, I-pod during walks- for everyone it's work. And I think that's the answer. To quote my friend Bobbie:

I guess the overarching principle for me is that my spirituality is important enough that I have to make time for it. At every stage there are a million reasons why it feels impossible, but there are also ways to make it possible. One of the things I think about often is the question that the Savior asked Peter in John 21 when he says, “Lovest thou me more than these?” Interestingly, that question always comes to mind when I’m doing something frivolous instead of doing something that would either help my children or foster personal spiritual growth. It’s good to ask myself if I really do value what I’m choosing to do more than I value my children or my relationship with my Heavenly Father.


I think it's interesting that my friend feels such a connection with motherhood and spirituality. One friend said that scripture study is essential to understanding what she's doing as a mom. I think many of us do. For myself, I find that it's worth it to put forth the effort to practice spiritual discipline, even if it's just 15 minutes and I read something not too demanding, because it improves my 'job performance'. My heart is softer, I seem to understand my kids' needs more readily and respond better. But I'm not too hard on myself if it doesn't work out one day. I know that if it's going to happen it's going to take effort, and I try again the next day. But I do go through dry spells...

Let me know your thoughts about this subject!