What child, completely unprovoked, clocks their own mother? Obviously I'm doing something totally wrong and all of this hard, painful, excruciating research and work is useless.
I could almost taste the anger in my mouth I was so blindingly enraged. Just when I was about to lose it the anger gave way a bit to weariness: weariness at trying so hard and still feeling so far away from the answers. And then, just maybe if I thought about it a certain way, under the weariness I felt a tender kind of strength. Roth (Women Food and God
Luckily, very, very luckily, something good happened next. Head hanging, Caleb said "I'm sorry mom." My heart melted. That was the sweetest, most tender and unsolicited sorry my little son has ever said. And it all happened without shouting.
So in the end my son pounded me and I didn't even wind up punishing him; instead we hugged. Somehow, some way, I found the energy to straggle on through the moment with my 3 little steps. Some would shudder and say I'm just rewarding him. But my son is as confused as am I about why he acts this way at times; controlling himself and naming his need are learned skills. If I want him to use words instead of lashing out I need to model it for him (and see just how hard it can be)!
I hope I'm on the right track here, sometimes I don't know. There's no dress rehearsals, no second chances, no fast forwarding 10+ years to see what kind of habits my kids have. Parenting is ruthless like that. It's just one little teaching moment at a time, and my kids aren't the only students.
ps. next time I'm going to post a sample schedule. if anyone else has been trying it, please get ready to leave me some feedback! I would totally appreciate it!
2 comments:
I like the three steps. I'll have to try it.
Alissa
It's an empowering thing to manage the temptation to explode at our kids isn't it? Nice to hear your success story while I myself am attempting to stay sane in these last few days of pregnancy and stay cheerful.
Post a Comment