the Very Busy Week

My head is still spinning from our very fun and very busy weekend and week. The weather is getting warmer and we are starting to do lots of fun things that we couldn't do last year because I was on bedrest.
On Friday night Ian took Caleb and Julian to a father-son campout organized by our stake. They all had a great time, even if they didn't get a great sleep, and are looking forward to the next campout. It was fun to meet up with their friends from school, especially their buddy Beckett.


On Saturday afternoon we headed over to Valencia for a birthday party. We met Abigail and Thomas in the NICU when they were first born around the same gestational age as Caleb and Julian. It is so wonderful to see that all of our kids are doing so well after their early births and it was fun to celebrate with Abigail and Thomas.


On Monday we went to the beach for the first time in two years with Ian's brother and his family and some friends. Jack thought that the sand was very tasty, and Caleb and Julian couldn't get enough of playing in the waves. Next time Ian and I will dress better for the water.


On Tuesday we took the boys to some of the parks around here including Aidan's Place and Coldwater Canyon. The boys loved playing and playing and we had to drag them away.



On Wednesday we went to Disneyland. Ian took the day off of work and all four kids joined us (but no camera- it's just too much to deal with). We got there at 9am and left at nearly 7pm. It was crazy, but unbelievably fun.
On Thursday we had our last day of the friends school we've been doing with all our neighborhood buddies. We've had such a great year so far and are looking forward to doing the Joy School curriculum this fall. Everybody came over for lunch. It was chaos but so nice to enjoy all the growing families around us.


For the next few days, I think that we are all going to have stomachaches.

Mother's Day Milestones

The past couple of weeks before Mother's Day it seems like we've been hitting major milestones daily at hyperdrive speed. Christian and Jack are both sitting up for 10 minutes at a time, they're crawling on their bellies, they've started singing in the mornings (well, I call it singing, I don't about other people), eating 4 solid feedings a day, Jack's first tooth erupted but poor Christian is the one who's been through teething misery, Caleb and Julian transitioned to big boy beds and we're on our fourth week of potty training.


Losing the diapers and the cribs seem like letting the last ties to babyhood/toddlerhood slip away and we're bravely (sort of) entering childhood. If potty training is our first peek into this world, it's been rather interesting. Looking back, I think that we kind of did it all wrong. That being said, I don't know that there's really anyway to do this right. A bazillion factors are connected to this process- the kid's readiness and desire (not the same thing), our attention and ability to teach them (I've learned the hard way that making them wait a few minutes is not a good idea but sometimes I just can't get there!), finding the right rewards/reactions to failures and successes, etc.

I could go into more details, but let me just say that potty training Caleb and Julian has been one of the most overwhelming and educational things that I have ever done. There's the accidents, the fighting to get them to go potty before we leave the house, the false alarms... it all takes a toll. Then there's the grand naptime when everyone goes down and Caleb and Julian have taken turns for about an hour getting up and down from the potty as I try to figure out if they're stalling or just having a hard time (it's 50/50 but I don't want to take chances) and at last I get them down and collapse on the floor outside their room because my arms feel like they are literally going to fall off only to hear the babies waking up for their turn. That's when the song 'Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel' made sense to me in a way it hadn't before. I'm not sure if I can recommend the method of learning patience by having it beaten into you when you're down, but it's good for those who need to get it in a hurry.

So besides Ian making an amazing breakfast for me, for Mother's Day weekend we went to visit the rose garden at the Huntington in Pasadena. It was breathtakingly beautiful, hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of beautiful buds have opened into gorgeous blooms and the air was clouded with perfume. Growing and changing isn't easy, I was reminded of that when we took the boys to the potty during our visit (diapers would have eliminated that), Christian got cranky (more teething?), Jack tipped over on the bench (ouch!) The journey is messy, but we've got to get there to get to the blossom. While we were taking in the day, a middle aged couple strolled by us and said 'It goes by so fast, we've just been talking about sending our kids to college this year. Make sure you enjoy these years!'

Yeah, we are enjoying our little buds while we can. We are.

Home is Where You Make It

Almost exactly two years ago Ian and I moved. By dumb blind luck we sold our townhouse at the market's inflated peak and walked away with almost the entire amount that we bought it for 3 years earlier. We moved to a little spot with young families like ours. Like everyone else we planned to live here for a year or two and then move on to our 'real' home. The one where we'd raise our kids and plant our apricot trees and I'd have a crafts room and be on the PTA. The one where we'd really unpack everything and make our lifelong friends.

After we'd been here for a year the little guys came along, and we knew our two bedroom wouldn't be easy to keep living in. At the beginning of the year we also needed to stay close to Ian's work so he can keep helping me as much as he does. Houses around here aren't really in our range so buying a place was out, but so was renting another bedroom. Renting a 3 bedroom is too expensive for our budget and with paying for full-time help would really eat at our savings. We had to make the space work for awhile, and at the beginning it really wasn't super hard.

The babies slept anywhere!

We hit a major obstacle in January when Jack and Christian shed all remnants of that newborn-portable-sleepy stage. They needed to be soothed to sleep, and they needed a quiet, dark little space that would keep them asleep for an hour or two (and give me a much-needed break). This led to endless experimenting. Caleb and Julian's room was out. The bathrooms are super teeny, and the closets in mine and Ian's room are too small for even the smallest port-a-crib (believed me, I looked high and low!). It took several weeks to figure out a solution- the place and manner to soothe the babies, a mattress that fit on the closet floor, and a white noise player that helped block out the sound. After 8 weeks (8 weeks!) of having my patience tested so thoroughly there were moments I thought I would strangle anyone that crossed my path, we started to have more good days then bad days. Jack and Christian now go down regularly at 9am for 1-2 hours and the whole gang takes a grand nap at 1pm for 1-3hours. Everyone is down by 7pm at night.

I was really impressed with myself. I must admit some flaws existed in the system. During the grand nap I couldn't talk on the phone, (too loud), use my computer (in my room), work in the kitchen (shared a wall with Christian's closet), work on my crafts (too noisy in my room) or nap (I guess I'm a noisy sleeper) or do anything except be trapped in our super bright living room thumb-twiddling. It sucked, but was doable, although looking back I can see how I was getting very strained (um, yeah, that's putting it nicely). I felt exhausted but triumphant and was even deluded enough to start writing a post about how 2 bedroom living with a 2+2+2 family was 'totally manageable.'

Well, one night Christian woke himself up about 6 times. Despite my padding, he rolled into the closet and was banging his head against the door. He was growing so fast, already the closet was too small for him! We thought about moving him to the living room, but were worried he'd keep Caleb and Julian awake, who were now crib jumping. Or worse, they'd mess with him in the middle of the night. As I talked about the issue with my friend Natalie, I realized how anxious I had really become. Obviously, we had to make a change. We needed to move.

Christian when he first started sleeping in the closet

Which brings us to 'the plan'. It's time to buy a house, our house, the quaint bungalow that's drastically reduced in a little neighborhood somewhere just waiting for a young family to take possession. This was our plan from the beginning, so let's get on with it already. Except, Ian and I have a big fat something standing in the way.

Ian is planning on becoming a producer. There are so many questions about this process that the future is pretty unclear but one thing is for certain: taking on a big mortgage would shut the door to that option. I'd like to think it wouldn't, that we could work around it, but I know in my heart that it will. So, what's it going to be? Our stable life with the PTA and the lifelong friends like most normal people our age are doing, or... do we continue to chase the dream.

Honestly though, aren't we're too old for risky plans/dreams? Isn't this the point where most people just give it up and get on with their lives? Or at least have their dreams morph into something more sensible or take up a hobby? While I do like living in the city, everybody feels a pull towards the next phase of life when we hit certain crossroads, and that's what I feel now. It seems the smart thing to do.

As Ian and I talked about where we'd move I began to feel in my heart that our small fortune (at least for us!) from selling our house a couple years ago wasn't meant to be used to buy another one at this time. Or maybe ever. It was given to us to invest in Ian. He can't support a family and build a business without some start-up capital, and this little bone was thrown to us so we can keep going. Even if we put every penny into Ian and nothing happens, I will think it would have been well worth it. Although I have a very good feeling something IS going to happen, we're taking a risk so it could go either way because that's the way risks work.

So we decided to put off our forever after a little longer. We may never move to a home that we own, at least for a long time, but that's OK. It's an expectation that I am starting to let go of. Miraculously, a 3 bedroom apartment in our complex dropped in price and we realized it wouldn't be too painful to rent. The big items were carted by movers and we moved the rest in strollers and shopping carts so we didn't have to deal with unpacking. (I actually stayed in my pajamas the entire day, it was that insane.) As we're settling into our new space, I'm realizing maybe the universe threw us another little bone. Not just the too-perfect moving situation, but with all the help we got and continue to receive. Our RS President and my friends Natalie and Lindsay watching my kids, my friend Ashlee bringing us lunch and Deborah bringing us dinner reminded me that our caring friends make this experience manageable. I may still have a craft corner instead of a crafts room but I'm happy. Maybe these are our lifelong friends, and this is our real home.

what a bunch of vagabonds!!

Christian and Jack getting moved

Project 365

We've had such an amazing past couple weeks, but I would have the hardest time describing it, or describing why it's been amazing. Really, there have just been lots of ordinary, garden-variety little moments one after another, precious in their own simple way.

This year I started a scrapbook project called 'Project 365.' The goal is to take one photo a day for an entire year and write a little journal entry to go along with everything. The project was a kit that Creating Keepsakes put out. It sold out within hours, which NEVER happens, so I guess a lot of people dug the idea. They made a free digital kit available to us poor schmucks who weren't on it. It's barebones, but the concept still applies. I love this project because it's quick and easy, and allows me to capture my amazing year of 4<3 year olds in a fun way. It's funny already to go back and see the first glimpses of what would become bigger changes in the kids, or remember a major issue that no longer applies.
Over the past couple weeks a lot project 365 moments have occurred, such as:

Christian is without a doubt like a bright little firefly or shiny little button. He has so much energy; he's constantly cooing or talking with so much expression and intonation that it really feels like he's carrying on a conversation, it's just in a different language. But he's also pretty mellow for the most part; he goes down sooo easily for his naps and rarely gets worked up about anything. He loves to spin around on his tummy. He also LOVES his Playskool Kick start gym. When he kicks the foot pedals little wheels spin above him. He likes to bring his feet up to kick the swings that are supposed to be for his hands. He looks just like a little gymnast when he does this.

(A few weeks ago I dedicated an entire post to Jack. I haven't done that since then, but it doesn't mean I haven't been connecting and thinking about my other little guys!)

I love the look of splendid wonder on Christian's face as he's discovering how to shake a rattle. He's been able to do it for awhile, but lately it seems like he's really intrigued by the sounds and colours when he shakes.

Julian especially loves walking over to the Persian bakery just three blocks from our house. Whenever we go we're always surrounded by baby-admirers and everybody treats us like celebrities.

Jackie absolutely loves playing with his toes. He especially likes grabbing onto them and chanting out 'aaaiiaaiii' like a little Tarzan swinging through the jungle. He grabs them whenever and wherever he can!


Jack also loves to try and reach the fish on his Fisher Price aquarium swing. They're part of the mobile and meant to be looked at, not grabbed at. I have no idea how he manages to touch them, he really arches his back when he reaches up. So cute.

Finding places for everyone to sleep has been a challenge, and we're on the verge of moving to a 3 bedroom.

We were so sad when Grandma Gail got suddenly and inexplicably really sick last week and had to be hospitalized for a few days! She lost a lot of blood, and although she's out now and feeling fine she can't lift anything so she isn't able to help us in the way she used to. We miss her terribly, but are so grateful for all the help she has given us. We couldn't have gotten this far without her. This is a photo of the last night she came to help.

Ian's been teaching Caleb and Julian to play soccer in our 'backyard' with their Christmas present from Nana. Julian loves it, Caleb's not a fan.

A Crush on My Hood

I've learned to detect the changing of the seasons not by temperature, as in my native Alberta, but by foliage. Spring is my favorite. The pink star jasmine busts out and the air for blocks around smells like heaven, the fuschia bourganvillea with its otherworldly colour gives me a shout out, and the delicate California poppies seem to beckon for a cup of tea. The best thing is that I can enjoy it all just by heading out the door for my daily walk. I've always had a thing for this area, but I recently developed a serious crush on our neighborhood.

Star jasmine. The real inspiration behind the 'popcorn popping' song.


The homes here are small and modestly designed, but the lots and yards are a good size and everyone seems to have a green thumb, or hire really good gardeners. We're walking distance to all sorts of shops, restaurants, a great park. I want to stay here so bad it hurts sometimes! We're making the 2 bedroom situation work for now, but at some point we need 3 rooms. Today I saw a sweet two bedroom home for a reduced... drum roll please... $879000. Wow! What a steal! Sigh. I keep thinking that dropping real estate values are going to bring properties around here into our price range, the possibility is there from a historical standpoint, and nearly-acceptable areas close by are starting to hit our range. But for now I'm praying and hoping as hard as I can for a miracle. Please, let us stay. Maybe not forever, but at least another half decade of springs.

Julian gets ready to join me with his 'baby doggie'

making ourselves cozy in the ivy corner of our common backyard. Our manager has kindly allowed us to take it over with baby gear.

walking near the geraniums

I know this sounds horrible, but from a certain standpoint I think it's fair. GO RECESSION... GO!

How we got a garden even though we don't have a house

Before this year I'd NEVER cooked cabbage before. Or gotten familiar with chard, kale or rutabagas (I'm still not entirely sure what those last are). Or had a bounty of fresh, free lemons, oranges, avocados, rosemary, mint, lavender, etc. at my finger tips (when in season). Or probably ever thought I would because I live in a 2bedroom apartment in the middle of a major urban center.
It all started during our downtime over Christmas break. Ian read Michael Pollan's 'Omnivore's Dilemma.' I didn't read it, but I got the play by play and I can tell you it's pretty fascinating. Basically, corn syrup and/or some kind of weird Iowa corn permutation is in practically everything we eat, and Pollan advocates getting closer to our food (ie. growing or raising it) the way people used to. Ian thought we should make it a New Year's Resolution to do that this year. I don't need any convincing that we should grow our own food because I think it tastes really good. My grandparents had a rockin garden and after eating one of their tomatoes I thought the stuff from the produce aisle should be called something else entirely. So Ian and I started planning our dream garden, complete with hives, fruit trees, veggie plots... chickens (yeah, don't ask) we made a fancy diagram one Saturday.
Hold up. This looks great on paper towel. For a minute we forgot we have children sleeping in our closets, let alone having space for figs and radishes. Plus, after breastfeeding, diaper changing and playing Spanish charades all day I barely have time to floss let alone deal with aphids and compost rotations. So... backburner, right?

One of the things I love about Ian is his amazing persistence. He has found some really creative ways to get us 'homegrown' food without having to grow it ourselves. He joined a farm group that delivers farm fresh produce each week to somebody's house nearby for pick up. They fill the box with what's growing in season, hence all the weird veggies. Yeah, this unfamiliar stuff is what grows in the area I live. And while I kind of long for the cheap grapes from Chile, these vegs are phenomenally delicious. Those rutabagas and baby potatoes were amazing just baked with olive oil, and Caleb and Julian really dig the cabbage pie. So do I. It's yum.

Ian also asked his mom to plant some fruit trees in their massively huge yard. She graciously agreed and they planted peach, apricot, nectarine, pluot, and some other things. How awesome if this stuff actually produced at some point?? We'll have fresh, delicious fruit coming out of our ears.

Finally, Ian has gotten us into scavenging or gathering certain fruit growing around people's yards. I guess it's legal, and militantly supported by some groups. Our friend's Gramps was a millionaire living in Beverly Hills 90210 when he died, but he wasn't too rich to enjoy his own personal 'fruit walk'. He picked overhanging guavas, lemons, oranges, avocados, etc. through fenceposts. So the other day Ian drove through an alley on the way home and grabbed a bunch of overhanging lemons. I found a huge rosemary bush and a bunch of other herbs near a street intersection, and we discovered a huge orange tree by where we live. Don't laugh, it's fun. We made these lemon bars with the spoils- the fresh lemon juice and rind made all the difference in the custard.

Anyways, I don't know if we'll ever get our beehives and bok choy, but for now I'm kind of liking the work around.