on Spirituality & Mommyhood: not so easy right?

Since it's Christmastime I thought I'd share something that's been on my mind for awhile. A friend of mine who received a Master's in Divinity from University of Toronto in Canada sent me an article written by another mommy of twins. The lead line: When I entered motherhood my traditional spiritual life became impossible.

She talks about how spiritual discipline requires solitude & quiet time, and you just don't have that as a mom. Hello, but yes. Not that I was some spiritual guru before I became a mom, but it wasn't tough to find time here and there to read my scriptures, meditate, pray and reflect in my journal. Once I had Caleb and Julian it felt like that stuff was a luxury I could no longer afford. No matter how much I tried, there were 2 undeniable truths I couldn't seem to work around: 1) my time is totally interruptable so even if I don't get called upon I feel like I'm about to and 2) I am so pooped that I fall asleep after a short time, esp. first thing in the morning! Plus, there's not much I can do about those two things; they are the very definition of mother of young chitluns.



But I know it's too important to go for years and years without practicing 'spiritual discipline', and I know that other moms are certainly in the same boat so I asked my friends about it. The answers were very interesting. A couple friends were totally fine with putting that part of their lives on hold for awhile. In the article I mentioned earlier, Jennell Williams-Paris talks about how breastfeeding feels like holy work, and that it's not the season to worry too much about spiritual discipline. I agree. Opportunities for service, learning patience, feeling gratitude and joy are built into mommyhood.

And then there were a couple friends who really felt like it was important and put a lot of energy into making it work. It seems like these people set aside a specific time- nap schedule, 30min. when the husband gets home, 30min. while the kids watch TV, I-pod during walks- for everyone it's work. And I think that's the answer. To quote my friend Bobbie:

I guess the overarching principle for me is that my spirituality is important enough that I have to make time for it. At every stage there are a million reasons why it feels impossible, but there are also ways to make it possible. One of the things I think about often is the question that the Savior asked Peter in John 21 when he says, “Lovest thou me more than these?” Interestingly, that question always comes to mind when I’m doing something frivolous instead of doing something that would either help my children or foster personal spiritual growth. It’s good to ask myself if I really do value what I’m choosing to do more than I value my children or my relationship with my Heavenly Father.


I think it's interesting that my friend feels such a connection with motherhood and spirituality. One friend said that scripture study is essential to understanding what she's doing as a mom. I think many of us do. For myself, I find that it's worth it to put forth the effort to practice spiritual discipline, even if it's just 15 minutes and I read something not too demanding, because it improves my 'job performance'. My heart is softer, I seem to understand my kids' needs more readily and respond better. But I'm not too hard on myself if it doesn't work out one day. I know that if it's going to happen it's going to take effort, and I try again the next day. But I do go through dry spells...

Let me know your thoughts about this subject!

It's a Farm around here

8:17am

9:34am

12pm

You get the idea..
The baby doodoo stacks up fast around here. Thank goodness the trash chute is a few paces out the door. We gather those guys by the armloads. It seems such a shame to toss it all-like somebody could really use that in their compost. Teen Ian worked for a guy in his ward who made all the young men pee in bottles while they were there. I guess he grew prize roses. Maybe we should call him up. I'm about to pull out the cloth diapers I used on Caleb and Julian for the little guys so that should cut down on the mountains.

on feeding twins: breast vs. bottle

Since most of the books I've read about twins are written by parents of one set of twins, it wouldn't be too far-fetched to assume that I might be some kind of twins expert since I have two sets (something I still can't quite believe.) Being a twins expert could not be farther from the truth, most of the time I feel COMPLETELY lost. But something I've discovered that has been quite surprising to me is that exclusively breastfeeding twins (incl. the occasional expressed bottle) has been much easier than bottle feeding them.
Caleb and Julian bottle fed full-time, and I exclusively breast feed Jack and Christian so I have a good basis for comparison. I think the thing about breastfeeding is that it saves soooo much time. Not only can I just pop the guys on the breast without worrying about preparing formula, buying formula, washing bottles, clearing bottles, buying new bottles etc. (we haven't spent one dollar on formula so far) but I can also feed the babies at the same time with a special pillow, something I was never able to safely do with bottle feeding.
Not only is it easier for me, but it's way easier for Ian. He barely has to do anything when it comes to feeding, so he can help out in other ways.
I have to say, breastfeeding wasn't easier at first. We had to work through some latching kinks, and going out is a bit tricky. I always have to pump at some point if I leave, so that's a drag. Also, I was really worried that I wasn't making enough milk. But I took care not to give any formula bottles and my milk supply has kept up.
We're three months into this now and so far everything is going swimmingly. It's thanksgiving season, and while I realize this doesn't work for everybody, its works for me and this is something I am so grateful for.

Holidays are so much funner with little kids

In the intervening years between marriage and having kids, Ian and I often went through fun-lacking periods, especially around the holidays. When you're single it seems there are no shortage of amazing, fun & free activities and everyone is motivated to go because they're trying to get paired off. But once we graduated from that scene it's been a little more hard-y to party. Don't get me wrong, we still have enjoyed some rockin times, but too often find ourselves in the movies or dinners or movies or dinners cycle.


So... after 10 years of marriage, Ian and I found the answer to the best kind of fun around: having kids! Suddenly there are no shortage of super fun things to do: Pumpkin Patch, Dickens Christmas Faire, Children's Garden, etc. With kids, anything and everything is fun. Actually fun doesn't say it all, it's imbued with this sort of magical quality as well. Our kids got so excited for Hallowe'en, even Fall is way funner. Without kids they're just a pile of leaves I don't notice, with kids they're... a trampoline. We got out Grandma's old Christmas train, the one she used to put around the tree, and Caleb and Julian and their cousin Liam loved it. It's inspiring me to crack open all sorts of Christmas fun I wouldn't have thought about: advent calendars, Christmas baskets, Santa photos, cookies with Grandma's old ornaments, carols around the piano... goodies goodies goodies. I can't wait!!z

the Mouthes of Babes

Christian

Christian

Jack

Jack

A friend of mine told me that you can tell when your baby is really smiling (as opposed to those first drunken-looking gas smiles) when their eyes smile with their lips. Since this is our second time seeing our children through the 'baby phase' we've learned that we can expect certain delights. One of the best ones is having first conversations with our little ones as they coo and smile with us. It is such a delight- I can't believe how much joy we experience with our babies! Despite the exhaustion and mounds of diapers, this really is a very precious time.

Pumpkins Pumpkins Pumpkins

After I shopped the fun Hallowe'en deals at Party City, I decided it was time to dismantle 'Piggy Pumpkin' ie. Mr. Potato Head. Since we didn't cut the pumpkin open it didn't grow mould within 5 minutes the way that it usually does in these here parts, so we decided to cook it and eat it. After baking, scraping and pureeing it, boy was I ever underestimating how many gallons of pumpkin flesh we'd have to work with! I've already made a whole bunch of delicious pies from the Better Homes and Gardens October cover (they always taste better with fresh instead of canned pumpkin) with the help of the boys, and the other day they helped me wash seeds and make a monster batch of cookies that we were forced to bake as muffins because we have so stinking much of it. They are delicious, and much better as muffins. I was surprised at how fun it was to have the boys help me. Slow, messy with crazy sticky fingers, faces, and backs (don't ask me how that happened) but really fun and voila- a whole afternoon's worth of activities taken care of. They really dug it too, and it was fun to kiss all that batter off their faces!

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Halloween was SO MUCH FUN this year! Caleb and Julian proved old enough to get excited about the holiday, and as we indulged their interest we wound up having a great time too. We went out to Faulkner Farms with the whole gang. It was a long drive (about 1hr.10min) and as soon as we got there I was inwardly chastising us for being so ambitious with our outing choices. But as soon as Julian saw all the pumpkins his eyes lit up and he said 'Pumpkin Patch!' Just seeing how happy he was made everything worth it. They had a great time at the petting zoo and hay maze- we'll do the train ride and hay rides next year. It was the first time we took our quad stroller out in public and it felt like we couldn't go more than 2 ft. without getting stopped by somebody. Ian says that people are watching us more closely so we can use it as an excuse to behave ourselves ;) The boys went trick or treating at their school and our ward's trunk or treat and had a blast. Jack and Christian just went with the flow, I made sure that we got studio pictures of their costumes- I think little kids in Hallowe'en costumes are the BEST EVER! Hooray for Hallowe'en!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I love how photoshop and some patience can create the illusion of 4 happy and cooperative kids. Happy Halloween everyone!!!days since we st

a Hummer ding of a stroller

Hence we begin a bright new chapter of our lives... four children two and under. Nana recently gifted us with a quad stroller, and when we took it out it really hit home to me that this is our new reality.



I can tell you about our adventures of adjusting to our new life- like getting four little ones in and out of carseats (they just don't make any cars that are easily accessible for four car seats), making it through church with a daddy up on the stand, all the questions we get when we go out for a walk and much more but I'll save that for another time. For now, I'll be happily grateful somebody thought up the lucky fourleaf stroller- nothing like taking a constitutional with all your little ones in front of one handlebar.

Jack, Unplugged

Ah yes, altogether now on Greenfield Ave. (Jack is on the left, Christian on the right)


This song titled one of my favorite Laura Ingalls Wilder books:

Golden years are passing by,
Happy, happy golden years,
Passing on the wings of time,
These happy golden years.
Call them back as they go by,
Sweet their mem'ries are,
Oh, improve them as they fly,
These happy golden years.

24 hr. Breastfeeding Challenge or let's get Jack home

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack take your huge feedings by mouth
or in the NICU you'll stick.

Jack is a better breastfeeder than bottle drinker, so in the interest of getting him out of there the minute his antibiotics are dosed up, the NICU lactation consultant recommended that we feed him by breast for 24 hours. As long as he exhibited weight gain at the end of the 'probation' (this really is starting to feel like a jailbreak!) the doctors could release him. It really wasn't too bad, except for the night. Ian and I stayed in one of the hospital rooms and I tandem nursed Christian and Jack at the same time. OK, that is the wierdest feeling ever to have two babies sucking on the breast at the same time. I thought I was going to cry or giggle or sneeze, or all of the above simultaneously. It also dawned on me for the first time, that mostly-exclusively breastfeeding twins might be a bit more than I bargained for, since I thought it was the same thing as breastfeeding one baby for some reason.
Anyways, the hoop was successfully cleared. Jack gained 20grams or something, and then afterwards started taking his bottle like a rockstar. If all goes well he'll be home within 24 hours of this post!

Baby Christian is Home!

Just a couple days after my last post about how our kids were never going to bust out of the NICU, we were driving home Christian David Puente! It happened really quickly and kind of out of the blue, but we jumped on the chance (it felt like a prison break kind of situation with our little guy being held hostage.) It's been pure bliss to have him home for the past week. Christian eats like a champ, sleeps all the time (seriously. all the time), and is the apple of his big brothers' eyes. They love talking about "babyCHRIS-chin!" and always get big smiles on their faces when they come close to him or hold him. We have noticed that Julian is starting to lie down in his crib a little more often (he's always talking about about "Baby Christian sleeping") but other than that they seem to be taking the changes in stride.


After thinking he had a kidney infection, and a 'this' or a 'that', it turns out that all along our little Jack had a pretty nasty staph infection (ie. the hospital got him sick). It's a bit frustrating because it's kind of like taking your car in for a tune up, expecting to pick it up at the end of the day, and finding out the mechanic broke something and now needs another week to repair the damage. However, we have to remember that no system is completely perfect, and we have been so heavily dependent on medical technology over the years that it's only natural we'll get bitten by it as we have also been abundantly blessed. We're very grateful that the infection is localized, Jack is extremely healthy overall, and the doctor said they are very confident he'll be able to go home as soon as the antibiotic IV course is completed. That will be in 8 days. 8 days... 8 more days (knock on wood) feels like a very long time to have a little son in the hospital (bringing the grand total to about a month), especially with the other one home and thriving, but in the grand scheme of things 8 days is a blink. I guess you can say we're really getting an opportunity to develop patience.

hangin in there!

Well, as fate would have it our NICU stay appears so far to be neither short, nor sweet. Late last week Jack got pretty sick with a kidney infection, and the infection caused a little congenital cyst he had in neck get really, really swollen. While everything seems to be resolving slowly but surely now, the swelling is making it hard for him to open his mouth for oral feedings. They have mentioned the possibility of surgically removing the cyst as well, although we are hoping that it resolves on its own and that won't be necessary. We are trying to get Christian to eat from a bottle. He starts out really strong but gets sleepy quickly so he hasn't made significant progress yet. So, it's been two weeks and we don't have an exit date in sight yet. Everything has been going so well and they were born at a pretty good age for twins we weren't mentally preparing ourselves for any setbacks!!
We are working hard to stay positive, and last week my friends Laura and Valerie threw a shower for me! It was soo much fun and I got spoiled rotten. We kept the gathering really small because I'm still recovering from the surge and didn't want to get tired out, and everybody showed up in their pjs and brought frozen meals and some other nummy goodies too. I thought I'd throw up some photos because they were too cute!! Laura lead some of the best shower games ever, including name-that-bedtime-story and then gave me everything I could ever need for tucking the little guys in- Val brought the cutest bumble bee diaper cake, washcloth lollipops and a diaper change 'kit' for Ian (see the apron packet below). Lindsay made me a nursing cape, the whole gang just showered me with amazing gifts, it was the best.


everybody was too awesome!





the food was sooo good!